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| What a useless jerk! |
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| Goddamn he's even uglier in GeGeGe |
BUER IS THE GREAT PRESIDENT OF HELL AND HE HAS A BIG HARD ON FOR SAGITTARIUS. SUPPOSEDLY IF YOU SUMMON HIM HE'S PRETTY GOOD AT BOTANY AND MEDICINE AND FAMILIARS AND ALL THAT HIPPIE CRAP BUT YOU KNOW HE'S JUST GOING TO ROLL OVER YOU AND RAID YOUR FRIDGE BECAUSE HE'S SUCH CHODE!
ALL OF BUER'S MINIONS ARE SIMILARLY AWFUL, HERE IS HOW TO MAKE A BUER MINION! IF YOU WANT TO BE ESPECIALLY SHITTY USE THIS WITH MY FAMILIAR GENERATOR.
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SKELETAL- COUNTS AS UNDEAD OR SOME FUCKERY |
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FLESHY- FUCK WHY IS IT SO CLAMMY?
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DISEASED- INFLICTS RANDOM ILLNESS I GUESS?!
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DEMONIC- HELLFIRE AND CHAINS AND SHIT
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HIDEOUS LIMB TYPE
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TALONS - FOR RAKING |
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TENTACLES -FOR |
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APE HANDS - OH FUCK OPPOSABLE THUMBS |
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ELEPHANTINE -FOR STOMPING AND TRAMPLING |
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INSECTILE- FUCKER CAN CLIMB UP WALLS |
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PINCERS- GODDAMN PINCHY CRAB HANDS |
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| WHAT THE FUCK EVEN?! |
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| I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANY LONGER |
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A BUNCH OF FINGERS
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CIRCLE OF WOLF HEADS LIKE THAT SCYLLA FREAKSHOW
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SNAKE ORGY
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TONGUES
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BALD
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| NO! BAD SICILY! |
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GOAT- FUCK WHY IS IT SO AWFUL? CAUSES FEAR OR SOMETHING
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BLOODSHOT- SLEEP? THIS THING DOESN'T SLEEP
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MANTIS SHRIMP - SO MANY COLORS, ALSO SEES INVISIBLE SHIT
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SPIDER- 8 OF THEM! REALLY GOOD AT DETECTING MOTION
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CHAMELEON- ONE ON FRONT ONE ON BACK, 360 GODDAMN
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SNAIL EYES- CAN LOOK AROUND CORNERS
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HAGFISH-WELL KINDA EYES, FUCK IF I KNOW
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SNAKE- ACTUALLY MEDUSA, HAHA WELCOME TO STONEVILLE
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HUMAN EYES- YOUR EX'S EYES
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NO EYES- IT'S A BLIND FUCKEN WHEEL HOW'D IT LEARN TO DRIVE?!
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| Tall Mouther from the Forgotten Realms, best to be Forgotten |
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WON'T STOP TALKING ABOUT THEIR LATEST "CLEANSE" DIET
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CONSTANTLY APPLIES VASELINE TO LIPS
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CORRECTS EVERYONE'S GRAMMAR...INCORRECTLY!
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PERSISTENTLY STARES AT THE ASS OF HIGHEST CHA PARTY MEMBER
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TIME HAS FOUR SIDES! |
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FARTS CONSTANTLY, LAUGHS AT OWN FARTS
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| Steve Lichman says it best. |
IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY ROLL A DEMONIC 5 GOAT LEGGED LION WITH A RATTY LION'S MANE, SQUINTY EYES, AND ALWAYS WANTS TO TALK ABOUT MEANINGLESS HORSESHIT THEN YOU JUST ENCOUNTERED BUER HIS OWN GODDAMN SELF, GOOD LUCK ASSHOLE!
NOTESYOU WANT MECHANICS? FUCK THAT NOISE! ROLL AND MAKE UP YOUR FATE YOUR OWN DAMN SELF! I'VE SPENT ENOUGH TIME ALREADY ON THIS INFERNAL ACCIDENT!
BONUS SHITTY GRIFFON TABLE!
ROLL ON EACH TABLE, COMBINE, MOURN, REPEAT
D10
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BUER?
ReplyDeleteSTUPID IDIOT MOTHERFUCKING BUER GOD DAMN FOOL PHILOSOPHIZING DUST EATING RAT OLD BASTARD SHITHEAD IDIOT PRESIDENT OF THE WHORE BIGGEST CLOWN IN THE CIRCUS LAUGHED OUT OF TOWN COWBOY MOTHERFUCKING BUER
STOP PINNING ME WHEN I TALK ABOUT BUER I HATE HIM SO MUCH WHY DOES HE HAVE SO MANY FUCKED UP LEGS WHY DID HE DECIDE TO FUCK AROUND AND FIND OUT JUST SET THEM LOOSE IS HE DEAD IS HE A BASTARD DEMON HAS SUCH A VISCERAL AFFECT ON ME NOT EVEN IN THE ROOM NEVER SEEN THIS MANS FACE AND I KNOW HE HAS THE WORLDS SHITTIEST MANE GET AWAY FROM ME
if i wanted to get into hell and the devil said buer waiting inside i would piss on the devils feet for the sole purpose of getting sent further down
if i have to deal with buer speaking one word in person on voice in universe not only will i close the ritual i will burn my tomes out of spite and have to relearn all of magic again for the experience of being able to skip all the times when he is mentioned or alive
i dont even know why i hate him so much. he teaches philosophy but i am just mad because i am angy
he better have some fucked up backstory to explain this if hes just some demon shithead whos a fan of the isle of man and wanted the irl version ill go ham
BETTER have had God make him kill a man cuz if he didnt Im going to make him
paypal.com/IFuckingHateBuer
grimoire not even about him. vaguely mentioned what is supposed to maybe be his presidency and I lost it
where the fuck is buer if hes still alive im going to so deeply wish he wasnt
crusty old demon
ill punch buer and his sad frail goat wheel twig bones will simply flake apart under my epic huge meat fist and he will disintegrate until all thats left is one final scroll he kept on him at all times simply titled Now You Fucked Up in ancient yiddish
im not breathing im hyperventilating at this point
i hope theres a date given for when buer died or will die so i can make it a reminder on my phone
everyday once a year i will see it and do anything but pay respects to the demon who had so many fucked up if true legs
Well that was interesting.
DeleteJuergen Leitner *is* Buer confirmed????
Delete