Summoning is not an exact science. Or rather, it is an incredibly exact science that even the smallest deviation can cause countless repercussions. A few too many grains of salt, an imperfect circle, getting the inflection wrong on the incantation. This is why battle-field summoning tends to call only the weakest of extradimensional creatures or beings that the caster holds a contract with.
Here are some possible misfortunes that might behalf a summoner who used the wrong shade of black in their invocation candles.
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| The Summoning by Nico Navarro |
Poof! Smoke and nothing more.
Summons half of the intended target, which promptly falls over dead
Reverse Summon, summoner appears before the intended target
Summons a sandwich, there is ham and cheese but no mustard.
Room fills with burning brimstone
Room floods with Manna
Accidently opens a Hellmouth, d666 HD worth of demons flood out
Fairy Ring created, mushrooms pop up all around the summoner. Summoner reappears 1d100 years later after a stay with a Fairy (50% Seelie 50% Unseelie) Court.
Hole Opened to a random cave in the Veins of the Earth.
Summon works but the target is unbound
Summon works, target is in the bathtub and is very mad about this intrusion
An angry Efreeti is shows up and offers a Monkey’s Paw type wish
You summon your Qareen (your spiritual double) into the physical plane, the summoner’s soul is sundered in doing this leaving the Quareen and the Summoner each with half the Summoner’s original stats
A Nasnas is called up, it has one leg, one eye, and one arm. It proceeds to hop around in an attempt to “tag” you in a friendly game. Save or Die if it touches you.
AAAAH FUCK SO MANY TENTACLES
Call up the spirit of a deceased ancestor to viciously berate you.
Called up the local Genius Loci, treat as a 1d20HD Elemental, a local landmark stands up and causes chaos.
Kuda-gitsune infestation, tiny foxes fill up every hole in the vicinity and steal all the food, booze, and tobacco.
4 Nurikabe form around the summoner, trapping them in an invisible cube.
Call up a Daidarabotchi, and everything in a 5 mile radius is crushed under a giant larger than Mount Fuji.
A space-time rip causes you to summon an infant version of the intended target. It is crying and has recently soiled itself.
A space-time rip causes you to summon a much older version of the intended target. In some cases this means the target is significantly more powerful, in others it means the target left their teeth at home and has recently soiled themselves.
Target arrives inside out and somehow screaming
You accidentally summon two people you kinda know from your hometown, they are in mid-coitus.
You are hideously combined with your summoned target.
You accidentally summon two creatures who are hideously combined, this is how Owlbears were made.
You summon a very realistic plaster likeness of the intended target
You summon one of two formerly conjoined twins.
You summon yourself, binding yourself to the summoning circle
You summon the thing that all Bags of Devouring are merely the feeding orifices for
You summon several thousand books, all the doors nearby now lead to the Stygian Library
You summon a small, nervous goblin who proceeds to hide under the nearest furniture, mumbling about a squirrel menace.
You summon a Seraph, all who are not EXCEEDINGLY pious to this particular Seraph’s god are incinerated by its presence.
You summon 1d1000 Geese, who are now really pissed.
.You summon the wisdom teeth of all creatures in a mile radius
You summon a Quantum Duplicate from another timeline. They have an eye patch, a rad laser gun, and psychotic levels of paranoia.
You call up an infant Fortle with a small tower on its back. It is the size of an adult african elephant.
You are pulled into a hole in space-time and end up inside of a Troll’s stomach
You summon a wasp nest which promptly falls to the ground and releases its 10,000 enraged inhabitants
You open a hole to the bottom of the sea. Closes in 1d6! days. Hope you have scuba gear.
You summon 25 familiars who start to fight over which gets to claim you.
You summon the spiritual inverse of what you intended to summon.
You call up a 1d20HD Xiucoatl, which immediately demands a human heart for each HD
You Summon a Very Political Demon. [Link to Come]
You summon a genie who will grant 3 wishes. Their understanding of your language is about on par with a hungarian using a very ineffective phrase book.
You summon the 2cm tall Azazel, a begrudgingly helpful demon who grants wishes but is extremely literal and the wishes always turn HORRIBLY RIGHT.
You summon the DOG GOD, they speak to you in broken images and tongues that are not theirs. You are confused, angry, but oddly inspired by the DOG GOD.
You open a hole in deep space. 50% sucked into the void 50% room is flooded with phlogiston that explodes violently.
Summoning works, target appears 1d% miles in a random direction.
You summon an Alter. The Alter works as a permanent summoning anchor which sacrifices can be made to call the specific entity. Any sacrifices made for the initial summon needs to be made again though.
You accidentally attract the attention of an actual deity.
Mithras shows up expecting his entire ritual and liturgy performed perfectly. Success gives the summoner 100 years of immortality, failure results in utter annihilation.
You open a channel to one of the FEARS, the region is subtly altered to fit the FEAR’s domain. The summoner is infected by the Fear.
You ring into a Book Club hotline
You summon a chair, it looks extremely comfortable. It is a mimic.
You get a voicemail.
A gashapon machine appears and spits out a random ball containing one of 151 mutant animals.
The demon’s lawyer shows up and proceeds to berate you on how poor your contract and penmanship is. They kick over your candles and break your circle just to make a point before leaving.
Several scores of small, blue skinned, red haired, very angry and VERY DRUNK 6 inch tall pictsies flood the room. Anything they can’t drink they steal, anything they can’t steal they fight via miniturature claymores and insane physical strength. They are SO angry.
You call up an eyeless spectre made of intense hatred for spellcasters of all sorts. It vanishes, spending 1d6 weeks poisoning the minds of those around you towards hatred and paranoia before attempting to possess you.
You summon a Russian Cosmonaut from the 1970’s. They float, their suit is full of radiation, and they speak terrible prophecies of the Moon.
You summon a 5 man animatronic animal band. 25% chance of being really awesome, 25% chance of going berserk.
You summon Yojimbo, a samurai warrior of great power and great greed. Will serve you for exorbitant amounts of money.
Accidently cause all dead things within a 5 mile radius to awaken, and they all know where you are.
Cause an atmospheric disturbance (1. Thunderstorm 2. Hail 3. Tornado 4. Heatwave)
Cause a Weird atmospheric disturbance.
;)
You summon a Microscopic creature into Macroscopic size. 1d4 1. Giant Ameba 2. Giant Virus 3. Giant Watebear 4. Giant Dust Mite
You summon The Green Knight who challenges you to a duel. They are all but immortal.
You accidentally invoke one of the 72 names of the Creator and give life to everything in the immediate vicinity.
Open a rift to random Plane (1. Elemental Plane 2. Elemental Plate 3. Random Hell 4. Random Heaven 5. Astral 6. Plane of Snakes)
You summon Mundo! This silky bastard knows everything about the North, but is a tricky asshole. He’ll ask difficult, bizarre or embarrassing favor as payment.
You summon a random King
You summon a random God
You summon a random Reverse Monster
You summon a DOG
You summon a something random from the Goodberry Bestiary.
You summon the Wizard Police, the summoning spell you used was copyrighted. Time to go to wizard jail.
You summon Dave, an immortal and completely useless failed wizard’s apprentice. He tries to do as you command, but he just mucks everything up.
You summon all the local cats. If you are in a place that cats couldn’t possibly be, one very confused black american shorthair shows up and expects treats.
You summon an entire k-pop band, including props, fireworks, stage hands, and t-shirt cannons.
You summon a bender of Maenads and Satyrs, they ask you to party and don’t take no for an answer.
Summoning appears to have failed, actually summon a False Hyda into the ground beneath you.
You summon Mr. Tastee, a humble ice cream vendor. He offers you a Blue Tornado Bar, it tastes like all your best childhood memories.
You summon a stuttering secretary who is highly paranoid of Snakemen. He’s in his pajamas and has lost his glasses. If you roll this, you are honor bound to let me know about it so I can include the interaction in my home game.
You summon Santa Claus. If you’ve been good, he’ll give you a present. If you’ve been naughty, he’ll thwack you over the head with his bag. If you’ve been REAL naughty, he’ll offer you a cigarette.
Your summon works, but the target thinks you look ridiculous and can’t stop laughing the entire time.
You summon a Hyacinth macaw that only knows exceptionally rude phrases.
. You summon a “doctor” who immediately wants to treat you. Their understanding of anatomy and medicine is Awful.
Oh god, you summon a Gengrigar.
You summon an entire firing squad, mid-firing, aimed at the summoner.
You summon a random food cart
The summoning functions as intended, but you audibly shit yourself.
The summoning functions as intended, but you will be summoned by the target to return the favor in 1d6 days.
You summon a terrible petty-god.
You summon Tommy Rawbones.
You summon a tiny car. 1d100 Clowns proceeded to exit from it.
You summon Death. He had a little party hat on and a cocktail wiener on a toothpick. He’s not particularly amused by the intrusion , but can answer one question truthfully. You may not like the answer.
"ha! Joke's on you Beelzebub, I ALREADY shit my pants!"
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