d100 Post-Apocalyptic Loot

POST-APOCALYPTIC LOOT

When faced with the premise of nuclear apocalypse it is interesting to ask, what happens after we’ve all shelled each other to high heaven? Well, one of the possible outcomes is fantasyland.


Monsieur here, who you might know from the Radiomancer. This post is related to that class, and meant to provide some more assets for a postapocalyptic world that the radiomancer would fit into.

As an adventurer, when you find the concrete carcasses of the old world, it is only sensible to try and scavenge them for stuff that a kooky wizard might buy off you after a few drinks. Roll on this d100 table for random loot you might get when exploring the ruins of this ancient civilization. Each of these items has a 1-in-6 chance to affect you with a round of radiation when you first touch it.

1. 1d6 canned food. As rations.
2. Cast iron waffle iron. As Light Weapon.
3. A roll of duct tape.
4. A 50lbs bag of fertilizer.
5. A flashlight, lights up a distance of 100ft. In one direction. Uses batteries.
6. 1d6 protein bars. As rations.
7. A hazmat suit. Protects against radiation and airborne poison. No armour value, but does take up armour space. Loses its effect when damaged.
8. A pair of aviator sunglasses.
9. A 50lbs bag of cement.
10. A metal bucket.
11. A bag of 1d10 zip ties
12. 1d4 batteries.
13. A geiger counter. Uses batteries.
14. A metal can of paint.
15. A dead car battery. Contains sulphuric acid: poison (1d10).
16. An old heavy duty laptop. 1-in-6 chance that it still works. What could be the password?
17. Pills. Heal 1d3 health. 1-in-6 chance to save vs poison or lose one point of a random ability score.
18. 1d4 canned chicken soup. As rations, also cures Zombie Rot.
19. A half-empty coil of barbed wire.
20. Crate with 1d6 glass bottle of beer.
21. A fake fish mounted on wood. 1-in-6 chance of tortured singing and flopping when approached.
22. A box of rivets.
23. A large wrench. As Medium Weapon.
24. A length of electricity cable. As rope.
25. A suitcase. 1-in-6 chance it contains clothes.
26. A ceramic pig full of rusted copper coins.
27. An old smoke grenade. 1-in-6 chance it still works. Obscures vision in 15’ radius.
28. A swiss army knife. Missing the toothpick. 
29. A heavy duty jacket. Armour as chain.
30. Gardening scissors. As Light Weapon.
31. A cable cutter.
32. Pink fuzzy handcuffs, 1-in-6 chance of having key. 
33. An army backpack. +6 Inventory slots, +1 Encumbrance.
34. A lighter. Gives light as candle, eventually runs out.
35. A slightly patinated set of silver cutlery. 
36. Heavy duty trousers. Armour as chain.
37. An picture frame with a black and white photograph.
38. A gas mask. Protects against airborne poison. Filter runs out after 3d6 rounds of use.
39. A car tire.
40. A bicycle. Doubles Movement on flat terrain, can fit two people (three if creative). When going over rough terrain, save vs DEX or get a leaky tire.
41. A can of motor oil. Not flammable.
42. A soldier’s bones with a broken mechanical exoskeleton.
43. Bones. Just bones.
44. Crate with 1d6 glass bottles of soda.
45. A lead-lined fire safe. What could be inside? What’s the code?
46. A rusted cheese grater. As light weapon.
47. A jerry can. 1-in-6 chance that it contains highly flammable gasoline.
48. A largish tangle of twitching metal parts and wheels. Humms Happy Birthday once then permanently powers down.
49. An old radio. 1-in-6 chance that it still works. Receives wave frequencies.
50. A bunch of old magazines.
51. An old army helmet. +2 Defense for your head.
52. A bag of rock candy. Looks like quality amethyst, tastes like stale grape. 
53. Army overalls. Normal clothing. Possibly still on a skeleton.
54. A box of spoiled chocolates.
55. A pocket watch, the face depicts a cartoonish mouse.
56. An unknown broken machine. Its metallic guts might be valuable.
57. Old VHS tapes. Some might still work.
58. A bag full of tongue depressors 
59. A portable television. 1-in-6 chance that it still works. Receives wave frequencies.
60. A first aid kit. 1-in-6 chance that it still contains supplies. Cure an Injury or 1d4+2 health if it does.
61. A gas cooker. Still good for a few cooked meals.
62. An old grenade. 1-in-6 chance it still works. 1d6 damage in a 10’ radius.
63. An old gameboy. 1-in-6 chance it still works. Uses batteries.
64. A bottle of industrial cleaner. Poison (1d6).
65. Part of an old bomb shell.
66. Files in a plastic bag. Can you read them? What do they say?
67. A bottle of wine. 1-in-6 chance of being deliciously aged, otherwise vinegar.
68. A fire extinguisher. 1-in-6 chance it still works once.
69. A brick of a walkie-talkie. 1-in-6 chance it still works. Receives wave frequencies.
70. A dead drone. Its metallic guts might be valuable.
71. A compass, but  it points South. 
72. Some enigmatic machine parts.
73. A cardboard box with 1d4 remaining bullets.
74. A rifle wrecked beyond repair. Its parts might be valuable.
75. An unexploded bomb. Any hard impact will cause it to explode. 2d12 in 20’ radius. Heavy, can be dropped or catapulted but not thrown with your arms.
76. A pistol. 1-in-4 chance it is loaded with a remaining bullet. Requires bullets to be fired. As crossbow, 1-in-6 chance to jam.
77. A watering can.
78. A disturbingly faded motivational poster.
79. 1d6 infected cans of food. Save vs disease and be affected by two rounds of radiation when you eat any.
80. Pile of glass shards.
81. 1d6 Lawn Darts
82. A bunch of ballpoint pens.
83. A fire axe. As a Medium Weapon.
84. Plastic cone. Can be worn as a hat!
85. Charred books. Novels? Manuals? What were they before?
86. A ceramic coffee mug printed with “World’s Best Attorney” 
87. Broken-down industrial fan. 1-in-6 chance it still works. Uses batteries.
88. A rusted wind-up monkey with cymbals. 1-in-6 chance it still works. May provoke Wandering Monsters roll.
89. Slightly melted plastic figurines of blue haired women and metal golems.
90. A mannequin head. What is it doing here?
91. Dentures, so many dentures. God why are there so many?!
92. A still sealed container of ground coffee. Consumption gives +2 Movement for 1 hour. 1d% chance of becoming addicted. 
93. Rubber balloons in sealed square plastic. 
94. A hat with straps and long plastic tubes connected to the sides.
95. A bound parcel of paper with a cover depicting some kind of paradise with frolicking unicorns. Full of a child’s script in an unknown language.
96. A sign declaring: “The End is Nigh!”
97. A leather football.
98. A tank of helium, enough to fill 30 balloons. When inhaled, +2 bonus to checks to disguise voice as a child for 1 minute.
99. A tank of hydrogen, explosive. 2d6 damage in 15’ radius.
100. A powerful relic from the Nuclear Age. Roll on the Rare Loot Table.

RARE LOOT TABLE

1. Nanite Brain Expander: gain 1 MD,1 Spellslot and 1 random spell, if you were not already a Spell Caster you are now. Take 1d3 Cha damage as the expander grafts itself to your head and expands your brain, take 1d3 Wis damage as your thoughts are expanded beyond what mortals should experience. Increase Int by 1d3 as your brain is expanded. Become telepathic within 15’
2. STEMC100-Injection: Once, and only once, regenerate all HP, fatal wounds, disabilities, scars, positive and negative mutations etc. Your skin is baby soft. A second injection will cause you to melt into a heap of undifferentiated cells.
3. Agent Omega’s Suitcase: Airtight titanium suitcase containing a ballpoint pen that explodes (2d6, 15’ radius) thirty seconds after being pressed, wristwatch that can jam wave frequencies and telepathy in a 30’ radius for 1 minute by using up a battery, and a tuxedo that grants +1d4 CHA when worn visibly. Assumedly found next to the skeleton of Agent Omega.
4. Vindictive Computer Brain: Appears as the Brain Expander, but instead wires itself into the wearer’s brain and dominates the target. Save vs Death or become replaced by a hostile artificial intelligence with an ominous name.
5. Project Cloudburst: Large drone that flies to the troposphere, and spreads a chemical weapon: strangely luminescent clouds cover the sky, blocking all sunlight in a 5 mile radius, and causing hydrochloric acid rain that deals 1d4 acid damage every round to all who are touched by it and corrodes buildings, plants and stone. Nothing healthy will ever grow on this land again. The effect lasts a day. Save vs Int to not set the Cloudburst to detonate right above you. If it does do this, it takes 30 minutes to reach detonation height, good luck.
6. Military Grade Exoskeleton: A mechanical contraption that can be worn around your body and enhances your movement with powerful electric pistons. You’ve probably encountered many skeletons of soldiers wearing broken versions of this. Increases STR, Attack and DEX by 2 while it is active. You jump higher, move faster, punch harder, but due to its age the exoskeleton makes plenty of whirring and creaking noise. Stealth is limited to a maximum of 6. Its power core will still last you 1d6+4 hours.
7. Case of Ultra-Meat: An airtight container filled with 40 tins of Ultra-Meat™. A single tin of Ultra-Meat™ lasts you an entire day in terms of nutritional value. Ultra-Meat™ tastes extremely meaty, even more so than normal meat, but has little texture. The cannister also contains an Ultra-Meat™ Free Meat coupon: who knows what this might be useful for. It certainly looks impressive and valuable.
8. Civil-Grade Android: You happen upon a confused and possibly traumatised civil service or housekeeping robot. These robots are programmed to obey humans (or anything that vaguely resembles them), and have a strict code not to harm them. The android will obey you(r party), but it cannot fight other humans for you unless you somehow reprogram it with Military-Grade software. It has roughly the strength and proportions of a regular human. 1d6 chance that this robot turns against you when you encounter it, and tries to hinder you in any way possible that does not conflict with its code. 1d6 chance that it hasn’t wiped its memories of the War off its own hard drive yet.
9. Late-Blooming Warhead: You find an active nuclear warhead, just about to explode. You are vaporised by the explosion. Everything in a five mile radius is destroyed and irradiated.
10. Life: A small green bud, growing in a pot amidst the wreckage of the world. The ultimate proof that life finds a way. As long as you are certain this plant is still alive, +3 to saves vs death. If you are certain it has died, this turns to a -2.