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Lexi Bard Songs and Perks: DJ Mix Tape

Not every Bard is stuck to a single genre, so here is a variety of Perks and Songs that might appeal to a bard.

90's Witch by Michał Sałata

PERKS

Perk: Can't Touch This- Bonus to AC equal to number of remaining MD.

Perk: Red Right Hand- You deal an additional amount of fire damage equal to your remaining MD for the day.

Perk: Overtone Singing- You can keep up the effects of two songs simultaneously, however you get a Bad Vibe on a roll of 1-3 instead of just a 1.

Perk: Dirge- Any morale checks rolled while you are playing a song have a penalty equal to your remaining MD.

Perk: Back Up Dancers- If another member of the party do nothing but dance to your music on their turn, they can nullify a Bad Vibe. 

Perk: Circular Breathing- You only lose the intensity of a song if hit for max damage on a die.

Perk: Subsonic Vibrations- Your music can affect and be perceived even by deaf creatures and isn't affected by magical silence.

Perk: Rick Roll- You can disguise your song as any other song but on a bad vibe it immediately evokes extreme revulsion in all those who hear it.

Perk:MONTAGE-  Once per week expend all of your Music Dice to retroactively have completed training or preparation for "just such an occasion." You may either apply Dice bonus to any check or have [sum] GP worth of equipment relevant to the task at hand. At 4 MD you may also condense the time of a single scene (a single combat, travel, or similar event) and make the outcome's success or failure a 50/50 coin flip.

Bard by hendry iwanaga

SONGS

The Show Must Go On - The beat is so strong that even the most broken body can't help but continue on.
1- Targets heal Intensity each round.
2- Targets Ignore Exhaustion and Stress Effects for duration of song.
3- Targets may reroll against an ongoing negative effects.
4- As Long as song continues, ignore all affects of Damage, when song ends all damage occurs at once.

I Wanna Dance With Somebody- Targets minds and bodies distracted and swept up by the power of music.
1- Targets are distracted and take a -2 to all actions
2- Targets take a -4 to actions unless targeting Bard
3. Targets save or can do nothing but dance
4. Bard can make targets as a group dance in a direction up to their movement speed. Save again if this would put them into harm's way.

Private Eyes Target loudly proclaims [SUM] truths. A target can ignore this effect if they use both hands to cover their mouth.
1- Surface Thoughts
2- Minor Secrets
3- Damning information
4- Innermost Fears/Locked Memories

The Bitch is Back- The target views the Bard as their worst fear come to life.
1- Target takes 1d6 Stress
2- Target Takes 1d6 more stress and affected by Terror
3- Target takes 1d6 More stress and affected by Horror
4- Target Cracks at disadvantage.

Magic Man- Your music slowly makes its listeners zealous fans of you.
1- Reroll reaction dice
2- Intelligent targets understand the party regardless of language barriers.
3- Targets treat the party as though they were trusted allies.
4- Targets Save or become Groupies for the Bard for 1d6 hours.

Run Like Hell- Listeners can't help but quicken with the beat.
1- Double Move Speed
2- Targets have +2 to their Dex Bonus for song duration
3- Affected Targets double attacks of actions per round
4- Affected Targets move so quickly that any physical attack has a 50% chance of hitting an afterimage.

Hungry Like A Wolf- Some songs can bring the beast out in you.
1- Targets can smell as well as they can see in bright light.
2- Targets can follow a scent trail that is Intensity weeks old.
3- Targets gain a 1d6 Bite attack. (If target already has bite attack increase die size)
4- Targets transform into Dire Wolves

You Drop A Bomb on Me Baby- Your music draws the firmament down from the skies. All targets within hearing take IntensityD6 damage per round as various objects (twigs, rocks, birds etc.) fall from the sky and pelt the targets. Save vs. Dex for half. If a shield or reinforce umbrella is held over head, Save negates damage. At 4 Intensity, a small meteorites drops and deals 4d6 Damage in a 50' explosive burst and ends the song.

I'm Still Standing- No one can stay down when they hear this song.
1- Prone targets may immediately stand without using up movement
2- Targets cannot be tripped
3-  Targets ignores affects that would cripple their ability to move.
4- The target is completely immovable, a wrecking ball could strike it and it would remain in place. The target still takes the damage, but cannot be moved from their position.

Rock Lobster- Every round invested into this spell calls deeper into the depths of the sea. Once released an Intensity HD ROCK LOBSTER manifests and attacks anyone who isn't dancing. The lobster remains for [Sum] Rounds and is not otherwise under the control of the Bard. It continuously yells "ROCK LOBSTER."

ROCK LOBSTER
1-4 HD
Appearance: A giant slate-gray lobster
Wants: To Wreck You, to scream "ROCK LOBSTER" over and over again
Armour: Plate
Move: 1/2 Normal
Morale: 12
Damage: Claw/Claw 1d6+HD
Grab- A target hit for max damage by a Claw attack is grabbed and crushed for Claw damage automatically each round. Strength save to escape.

Weird Bug Generator

For all sorts of Arthropods, not just insects!

by Eugene Gottsnake

1d2 Metamorphosis 
1. Doesn't Metamorphose
2. Does Metamorphose- Roll again on the table to determine adult form.

1d4 Locomotion
1. Flies
2. RUNS
3. Burrows
4. Swims

1d6 What does it eat?
1. Sap
2. Plants
3. Honey
4. Blood
5. Living Meat
6. Carrion

1d8 Size
1. Nearly Microscopic
2. Grain of sand
3. Pebble
4. Half hand
5. Full hand
6. Torso sized
7. Human sized
8. Human Sized+ Roll again and combine

1d10 Number of Limbs
1- Crawling grub/worm
2-10 Equal to number rolled

1d% Number of Eyes
1-100

EDIT NOTE: FEEL FREE TO SWAP EYES AND LIMBS ROLLS

1d12 Method of Defense
1 Pincers
2 Bite- 50% Mandibles 50% Proboscis
3 Venomous Bite
4 Stinger
5 Burning Chemical Farts ala Bombardier Beatles
6 Horns
7 Fontanellar gun- Chemical glue forehead gun
8 Acid spittle
9 Spear-limb
10 Hammer Limb
11. Spines
12. Roll Twice

1d20 Quirks
1. Can lift 20 times their body weight
2. Mimic- Is able to appear as another creature common in the environment
3. Aposematic Display- Colored very brightly as a warning signal, extremely toxic
4. Heavily Camouflaged
5. Deimatic Display- Has a pattern that can be displayed quickly to startle predators, often appearing as large predatory eyes.
6. Eusocial colony
7. Possessed silk producing spinnerets
8. Autonomy- Limbs break off for escape, they grow back...usually
9. Reflex Bleeding- Sprays or leaks foul smelling blood when threatened
10. Multiply the number of legs by 1d4 (1. 10 2. 100 3. 1000 4. 1,000,000)
11. Quadruple its size
12. Dodecachromats- Mantis Shrimp Eyes, see the Ultraviolet and beyond, see magic and invisible stuff
13. Digs/Creates pitfall traps
14. Can survive without a head for 1d6! days.
15. Roll three more times on d12 chart.
16.Parasitic- Roll on local wandering encounter table for usual host
17. Symbiotic- Roll on local wandering encounter table for usual host
18. Mating Fusion- Imprints on a target and fuses to it in order to mate, nominally another of their species but that doesn't always happen
19. Parthenogenesis- Can reproduce without a mate at astonishing speeds.
20. Roll on the Quirks list until you are bored

By Sandra Duchiewicz

1d100 NOW MAKE IT WEIRD
1. Actually feeds on: 1. Dreams, 2 Emotions, 3. Spinal Fluid, 4. Bones 5. Metal 6. Magic
2. Has humanoid limbs
3. Mimics the face of its last victim.
4. Can taste through its limbs, 25% limbs actually are tongues
5. Spits napalm
6. Limbs are tentacles
7. Injects its young into living victims.
8. Can mimic 1d20 sounds including voices/words
9. Lives in an abandoned 1. Shell 2. Skull 3. Coconut 4. Human Detritus
10. Collects teeth for nest construction
11. Biologically Immortal
12. Is actually the larval form of the local variety of goblin
13. Is Telepathic (1. Broadcasts to everything 2. Communicates with other bugs 3. Actually intelligent 4. Connects to a singular host)
14. Is antithetical to other bugs, its presence causes other insects to flee, its touch disintegrates them.
15. Bounces instead of taking fall damage
16.Camouflages as several smaller bugs of different species
17. Killing it causes a localized torrential thunderstorm
18. Doubles its move speed if someone screams in their presence
19. Shell is made of (1. Wood 2. Steel 3. Adamantium 4. Occultium 5. A Face 6.Refuse )
20. Consumes the inside and wears the skin of defeated foes.
21. Can shed its skin rapidly once per day to negate an attack
22. When it molts the discarded carapace lives on as a zombie
23. Is favored by a local deity and killing it causes a 4d6 Lightning Bolt to strike
24. Stomach is a bag of holding
25. Wields a crude appropriately sized weapon
26. Explodes if hit for max damage
27. Its noxious liquid defense spray is a powerful aphrodisiac for one random intelligent species.
28. Is actually a piece of advanced clockwork
29. Is actually a hallucination caused by another bug that bit you a few minutes ago
30. Leaves a permanent stain on anything that hits it.
31. Its droppings are intensely additive narcotics
32. Produces a honeydew/honey that is regenerative in small quantities, mutagenic in large.
33. Is on the coat of arms of a local noble/warlord.
34. Wears a tiny business suit and carries a briefcase. Briefcase contains 1d6 more bugs.
35. Can become completely immovable by locking itself in time/space
36. Is actually a mammal in disguise
37. Capable of surviving extreme temperatures
38. Immune to radiation/magic
39. Buzzing creates an area of Silence (other than the buzz) as far as the noise carries
40. Its sting causes a save or die Disintegration effect
41. Mines, processes, and smelts tiny coins from gold.
42. Is half lion and only consumes insects that otherwise resemble it.
43. Its movement patterns when studied for 8 hours produces a highly accurate augury.
44. Is highly nutritious, a hand-sized portion counts a a ration.
45. Used by the local psychopomp to weigh the souls of the dead against.
46. Bite causes AGONY on top of normal damage
47. Can Voltron with others of its kind, each on adding an additional Quirk and HD.
48. Exists on the same layer of reality as ghosts.
49. Causes a serious anaphylaxis reaction if eaten.
50. Transforms into a completely different bug (reroll everything) every time it is killed.
51. Equal to 1d10GP as a local currency
52. Can cast a random cantrip effect once per day
53. Can cast 1 random spell of 1st-3rd level (or MD if GLOG)
54. Is affected by holy water/energy/relics as undead
55. Is powerfully attracted to holy water/energy/relics
56. Weirdly conventionally attractive?
57. Extreme sexual dimorphism- re-generate bug for male and female
58. Capable of swapping biological sex each molting
59. Can fire 2d6 barbs per day with range as crossbow (damage depending on size)
60. Bioluminescent  (Roll 1d8 for color, 1-7 is standard rainbow, 8 is Octarine)
61. Exists 6 inches left of where you actually see it.
62. Increases local gravity minutely, a swarm can double or even triple localize gravity.
63. Is constantly precognizant of 6 seconds in the future
64. Is immune to changes in pressure (survives equally well at bottom of ocean and void of space)
65. Multiply the size by a factor of 10.
66. Only visible when you close your eyes or in absolute darkness
67. Swarms inhabit dead bodies and pilot them.
68. Creates a paper nest that, when boiled and unfurled carefully, depict a hyper accurate map of the local area.
69. Can be disbelieved and ignored like an illusion or a fairy.
70. Is actually a REALLY stressed human who has transformed.
71. The number of limbs are different every time you look at it.
72. Can teleport 6" at a time
73. It clicks in Morse code using prosigns.
74. It considered good luck and locals avoid hurting them at all costs.
75. Is actually a fungus zombie ala cordyceps
76. Lays its eggs in treasure, which its young eat when they hatch.
77. It has grease burns and a scrap of street food wax paper stuck to it
78. Is attracted to music and will follow around any tune.
79. Eggs look like gold coins of the local denomination.
80. Eggs ARE the local denomination.
81. Shells are perfect lenses 50% convex vs concave, glasses and telescope makers covet them
82.Anti-predator warning markings look suspiciously similar to caricatures of a party member.
83. Never dies of age, just keeps getting bigger.
84. Its carapace looks like the face helm of a warrior who died here ages ago.
85. Can travel through mirrors.
86. Creates a disturbing amount of sticky green foam when smashed
87. Eats ectoplasm, feeds primarily on local ghosts.
88. Can generate enough electricity to power a light-bulb for a year and a day.
89. Can be processed by alchemists into an edible and combustible oil.
90. Smells like teen spirit
91. Is the last of its kind
92. Is the first of its kind
92. Is a runaway from a local wizard lab and will mutate and grow larger every hour
93. Will instinctively solve any math problems laid before it.
94. Comes from an alien world and doesn’t adhere to normal biology.
95. Shaped like a letter of an ancient language, a colony can be used to decipher the dead script
96. Is secretly a spy for Beelzebub.
97. Collecting 101 living specimens can be traded to a specific genie for a wish.
98. Roll Twice
99. Y’know what? Roll in this table 5 times, that’s right 5. Twice isn’t enough
100. I’M MAD WITH POWER! EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING ON THE LIST! ULTRA BUG