Wednesday, July 17, 2019

5d20 Novelty Zombie Generator

Time for another Semiurge inspired Random generator! You can also probably thank my childhood love of Disgaea: Hour of Darkness by ALTUS for this one.

Roll
 Head
1
None
2
Stuffed Scarecrow- Blind/Deaf
3
Standard Meat Head
4
Mouthguard and Helmet- Can't bite, +1 Armor
5
Hideously Enlarged- Big Target -1 Armor, +1 damage die to bite attack
6
Shrunken- No bite, Gaze- Save vs. Magic, Reduce Saves by 2 while in sight
7
Undead Bard- Continuously moans dirges, reduces morale for all by 2
8
Infested- No eyes, continuously spews clouds of flies, hampers vision
9
Animal Head- Roll on an animal table, can do what that animal can do
10
Noxious- Belch Breath Weapon 30' Cone, Save vs. Poison 1d6 damage
11
Proboscis- 1d6 Stabbing + Blood Drain as a Stirge
12
Luchadore Mask- Immune to Scrying, Elbow drop for 3d6 when at height advantage
13
Doppelganger- Distorts to look like a loved one
14
Television- Flashing images, 1-in-100 chance of causing epileptic seizures 
15
Two Headed- Double the Bites, Double the Sights
16
Metal Robot Head- Lasers 2d6 damage every 1d6 rounds 300' range, prone to rust
17
Hell Mouth- Spend a Round to spit 1d4HD Demon, anything swallowed sent to Hell
18
Head of Orpheus- Prophetic- Can force 1 die a day to show any number on that die
19
Medusa's Head- Save Vs. Petrification Gaze
20
The Eye of Balor- Save Vs. Death Gaze 

Roll
 Arms and Hands
1
None
2
Sticks- Can't grab, could as fragile improvised weapons
3
Standard Meat Arms
4
Boxing Gloves- Can't deal lethal damage, knocks unconscious targets on a crit
5
Roll on Legs and Feet
6
Flippers- Swim like a fish, can slap for 1 damage
7
Swords- Attacks as Longsword, can't grab or pick things up
8
Ghoul- Paralyzing touch as a Ghoul
9
Snakes- Two big undead snakes, Save vs. Poison Bite attacks
10
Wings- Can fly at Move speed, can't hold anything
11
Hooks- Pirate hands!!!
12
Fractals Hands- Hands made out of increasingly smaller hands, impossibly tight grip
13
Pincers- Robot or Giant Crab style, can catch missed melee attacks and disarm.
14
Tentacles- Double reach, can grab and pull. 
15
Mantis Shrimp- 2d6 Damage, Crit Armor is destroyed. +1d6 underwater. Loud.
16
Chainsaws- 2d6 ignore leather, hacks off random limb on max damage, prone to rust
17
Monkey Paw- Grants 5 twisted Wishes, anything spoken nearby as a request counts. 
18
Hecatoncheires- 2d4 Arms exploding on 4
19
Martial Arts Master- 5 Point Exploding Heart, 1 target/day Save vs. Death
20
Sinews of Hercules- Succeeds all Strength contests/checks. 

Roll
 Torso
1
Skeletal- Half HP
2
Stuffed with Hay, Double Damage from Fire
3
Standard Meat Torso 
4
Tree Stump- Armor as Chain, double damage from fire and slashing
5
Tiny Body- Halfing sized body, full limbs. Awkward, can squeeze in small spaces
6
So Many Nipples- 2d4 nipples, has a Nipples-in-10 chance of being an undead witch. 
7
Wax Wings- Can fly at half Movement, fire melts wings
8
On Fire-  +1d6 fire damage to attacks, takes 1d6 damage per roud.
9
Whiskey Barrel- Full of 1. Acid 2. Gunpowder 3. Whiskey 4. Random Potion
10
Hive- Swarm of 1. Spiders 2. Bees 3. Rats 4. Ants
11
Boils/Pustules- Damage causes pustules to burst/spray Save vs Random Disease
12
Cage- Has a random zombie with half HD and Size
13
Gelatinous- Acts as random Ooze
14
Blemmyes- extra eyes on chest, extra bite attack, swallow small targets on crit 
15
Conjoined Twin- Roll twice for Head, Arms, Torso, This zombie has it all 
16
Metal Robot Torso- Armor as Plate, prone to rust
17
Bear Hunting Armor- Covered in spikes, deal with it
18
Torso of Holding- Hole in gut contains 1d6 random items, exploding on 6
19
Iron Body of Achilles- Cannot be damaged barring a single weak spot. 
20
Adamant Body of Atlas- size/strength of Storm Giant or similar

Roll
 Legs and Feet
1
None
2
A Single Wooden Pole- Half Movement, prone to tripping
3
Standard Meat Feet
4
The Heels of Achilles- Attack feet for insta-kill
5
Roll on Arms and Hands
6
Fish Tail- Can swim as well as a fish, flops uselessly on land
7
Umbrellas- I don't know why they did this, half movement, constant Feather Fall
8
Roller Skates- Twice Movement, Easy to push
9
Goat Legs- Not affected by rough terrain 
10
Talons- Extra claw attack, good grip, not great at running
11
Snake- Can constrict for 1d6 per round, Strength contest to resist
12
Tank Treads- Poor at turning, extremely heavy, can crush/flatten prone targets
13
An Entire Horse- That's right, zombie centaur.
14
Skull Crusher Thighs- Any target held between thighs for 3 rounds is crushed. 
15
BUER LEGS: 2d4 Exploding Legs all around body, cartwheels/tramples,
16
Metal Robot Legs- Cannot be tripped or slowed, prone to rust
17
Spider Legs- All eight of them, can climb up walls and shit
18
Big Spring- Can leap 30', spend round winding up for 60' jump
19
Rocket Legs- Moves in straight line at 5x move, explodes for 4d6 if it hits anything
20
The Legs of Hugi- Fast enough to essentially teleport within line of sight

Roll
 Other
1
Dirty Novelty Underwear
2
Massive amounts of cologne- Reeks, but at least not of rot. 
3
Instrument: 50% of being salvageable
4
Gold Holy Symbol- Stabbed into chest, deflects both holy and necromantic magic
5
Jack-o-Lantern- Strength as Bull's Eye Lantern, thrown for 2d6 Fire Damage
6
Zombie Arm- Carries another animate zombie arm as a bludgeon
7
A Pocket Watch
8
Miner's Helmet
9
Collar- "If Found, Please Return to King Krichevskoy, Overlord of Netherworld"
10
Mummy Wrappings- 1-in-6 chance of inflicting Mummy Rot
11
Time Bomb- Will explode as an HDd6 Fireball in 2d6 Rounds
12
A diploma instead of a brain, contains 1 random spell
13
Haunted Object- Followed by a ghost of equal HD, might be zombie's old soul
14
Abby Normal Brain- Acts as Confused
15
Tycho's Nose- Silver, looks fabulous
16
Silk and Sawdust Heart- Prone to emotional outbursts
17
Neckbolts- Healed by lightning damage
18
Acidic Blood- Eats through metal and wood. 
19
Brain of Wizard Mahogany- Know 3 Random Spells
20
Horse Wiener- OH FUCK YOU GUYS ARE SCREWED


Sunday, July 7, 2019

d100 Tantalizing Tomes, Bewitching Books, and Glorious Grimoires


Roll
Author/Genre
1
Goody Mooncup
2
Dak the Dim
3
Professor Grozug G. Goblin
4
Avaline Romances
5
Cookbooks
6
True Crime
7
Survival
8
Medical Pamphlets
9
Magic Texts
10
Misc

Roll
Goody Mooncup- Self Help Guides of a Witchy Nature
1
How Necromancy Saved My Marriage
2
Owls, Howls, and Bowels: Distressing Sounds and How to Cure Them.
3
Joy of Potioncraft
4
Witch Hazel and You: 101 Uses You've Heard, 24 You Haven't
5
Masters of Hex
6
7 Habits of Highly Effective Poisoners
7
How to Win Fiends and Influence Fishpeople
8
What To Say When You Talk To Your Doppleganger
9
Applied Abraxian Numerology for Dummies
10
Art of the Squeal

Roll
Dak the Dim- Simple Picture books for simple adventurers.
1
SMASH AN’ CRUSH 
2
AN AX FOR ALL OCCASIONS
3
SQUISH: SMALL THINGS AN’ YOU
4
WHAT TO DO WHEN TRIP
5
DAK’S RECIPES FOR PAIN
6
BASHING BOOMY BASTARDS
7
BARBARIC YALPS: A GUIDE TO CHARM
8
HOW TO FITE GUD
9
LOINCLOTHS: THE MANLIEST GARMENT
10
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGH

Roll
Prof. Grozug Goblin- Textbooks for the aspiring Minion 
1
Fire: Fun or Frightening?
2
Five Fine Ways to Grovel
3
Finding Employment After the Dark Lord
4
Lessons from Lemmings
5
Please Don’t Hit Me; and Other Things to Say to Your Master
6
The Many Uses of Pits
7
Shifting Blame: The Path to Promotion
8
Effective Whimpering Techniques
9
How to Sleep While Standing
10
Learning from your Many Many Failures

Roll
Avaline- Saucy Elven Romance Novels 
1
The Last Real Barbarian
2
The Forbidden Potion
3
Fifty Shades of Green
4
The Scarlet Robes
5
A Whisper in the Twilight
6
The Halfling’s Hidden Secret
7
The Hands of a Sorcerer
8
A Century of Seduction
9
The Immovable Rod
10
Ladies of the Lake


Roll
Cookbooks
1
Dungeons Dives: Top 10 Underground Eats
2
Fear and Loathing in Flavortown 
3
Game or Fowl? Cooking with Owlbear 
4
Trash to Treasure- An Otyugh Cookbook
5
Moonshine and Toilet Wine, The Adventurers' Guide to Getting Shitfaced
6
Creepy Crawling Calzones
7
Sahuagin Sushi And Other Sentient Sensations
8
Hardly Hardtack, Eating Well on Two Coppers
9
50 Ways to Prepare Gruel
10
A Magic Mouthful: The Companion Cookbook to the Avaline Romances

Roll
True Crime
1
Shanked in the Street: Gang Violence in YOUR Town
2
In Green Blood
3
Fairy Fury
4
A Sword in the Dark: When Paladins Snap
5
Gorgons Gone Wild
6
Fractured Future: A Seer’s Curse
7
Golddigger
8
Witch Slapped
9
Inner Demons: When Possession Goes Too Far
10
Frantic Familiars: 10 Tales of Betrayal

Roll
Survival
1
Don’t Drink Your Piss: Survival Tips That Maintain Your Dignity
2
Oh Shit! 10 Ways to Avoid Springing that Trap
3
Skeletons, Mummies, and Dead Folks Who Won’t Stay Dead
4
Leave It or Loot It? 
5
To Save or Not to Save? Dealing with Distressed Damsels
6
I Should Have Packed That: 35 Essential Items For Every Adventurer
7
A Dungeoneer’s Guide to Fungi
8
The Big Book of Beasts
9
IT’S A TRAP! A Guide to Trip Wires, Loose Flagstones, and Levers
10
The Adventurer’s Best Friend 

Roll
Entirely Unmedical Pamphlets by The Kind Dr. Nicolas Zane D.Ed.
1
What’s that Rash?
2
Why am I Itchy?
3
Where did My Foot Go?
4
Should I Eat This?
5
Why is My Vomit Purple?
6
Why Bees?
7
Why is My Skin Coming Off?
8
Why am I on Fire?
9
Why am I a Frog?
10
What Should I Do With These Bodies?

Roll
Magic Texts
1
The Arse Goetia: Demon Summoning for Assholes
2
Understanding Your Patron by Sotiria Dimopoulos
3
Bottling Up Your Emotions by Al K. Amist
4
Fashionable Phylacteries for the Discerning Lich
5
Thaumaturgical Aphorisms by Prilaxiom U. C. Vallance
6
Rubbings from the Thrice Damned Temple
7
The Virgin’s Guide to Tantric Rituals
8
Ten Magical Tunes for the Hurdy Gurdy
9
FIREBALL! 
10
The Book of Gaub

Roll
Misc
1
Religious Pamphlet: Whores and Other Demons of the Tavern
2
Religious Pamphlet: Evil Spirits: The Dangers of Ale
3
Religious Pamphlet: Unfission: The Me in the You
4
The Goats Who Stare For Men by R.B. Litte
5
The Charcoal Burner’s Daughter
6
The Violet Lady: 20 Tales of Terror
7
A Wayfarer’s Guide to Carousing
8
Memoirs of a Goliard 
9
Growing Up Goblin: A Memoir
10
[INCOMPREHENSIBLE GIBBERISH]