5d20 Novelty Zombie Generator

Time for another Semiurge inspired Random generator! You can also probably thank my childhood love of Disgaea: Hour of Darkness by ALTUS for this one.

Roll	Head
1	None
2	Stuffed Scarecrow- Blind/Deaf
3	Standard Meat Head
4	Mouthguard and Helmet- Can't bite, +1 Armor
5	Hideously Enlarged- Big Target -1 Armor, +1 damage die to bite attack
6	Shrunken- No bite, Gaze- Save vs. Magic, Reduce Saves by 2 while in sight
7	Undead Bard- Continuously moans dirges, reduces morale for all by 2
8	Infested- No eyes, continuously spews clouds of flies, hampers vision
9	Animal Head- Roll on an animal table, can do what that animal can do
10	Noxious- Belch Breath Weapon 30' Cone, Save vs. Poison 1d6 damage
11	Proboscis- 1d6 Stabbing + Blood Drain as a Stirge
12	Luchadore Mask- Immune to Scrying, Elbow drop for 3d6 when at height advantage
13	Doppelganger- Distorts to look like a loved one
14	Television- Flashing images, 1-in-100 chance of causing epileptic seizures
15	Two Headed- Double the Bites, Double the Sights
16	Metal Robot Head- Lasers 2d6 damage every 1d6 rounds 300' range, prone to rust
17	Hell Mouth- Spend a Round to spit 1d4HD Demon, anything swallowed sent to Hell
18	Head of Orpheus- Prophetic- Can force 1 die a day to show any number on that die
19	Medusa's Head- Save Vs. Petrification Gaze
20	The Eye of Balor- Save Vs. Death Gaze

Roll	Arms and Hands
1	None
2	Sticks- Can't grab, could as fragile improvised weapons
3	Standard Meat Arms
4	Boxing Gloves- Can't deal lethal damage, knocks unconscious targets on a crit
5	Roll on Legs and Feet
6	Flippers- Swim like a fish, can slap for 1 damage
7	Swords- Attacks as Longsword, can't grab or pick things up
8	Ghoul- Paralyzing touch as a Ghoul
9	Snakes- Two big undead snakes, Save vs. Poison Bite attacks
10	Wings- Can fly at Move speed, can't hold anything
11	Hooks- Pirate hands!!!
12	Fractals Hands- Hands made out of increasingly smaller hands, impossibly tight grip
13	Pincers- Robot or Giant Crab style, can catch missed melee attacks and disarm.
14	Tentacles- Double reach, can grab and pull.
15	Mantis Shrimp- 2d6 Damage, Crit Armor is destroyed. +1d6 underwater. Loud.
16	Chainsaws- 2d6 ignore leather, hacks off random limb on max damage, prone to rust
17	Monkey Paw- Grants 5 twisted Wishes, anything spoken nearby as a request counts.
18	Hecatoncheires- 2d4 Arms exploding on 4
19	Martial Arts Master- 5 Point Exploding Heart, 1 target/day Save vs. Death
20	Sinews of Hercules- Succeeds all Strength contests/checks.

Roll	Torso
1	Skeletal- Half HP
2	Stuffed with Hay, Double Damage from Fire
3	Standard Meat Torso
4	Tree Stump- Armor as Chain, double damage from fire and slashing
5	Tiny Body- Halfing sized body, full limbs. Awkward, can squeeze in small spaces
6	So Many Nipples- 2d4 nipples, has a Nipples-in-10 chance of being an undead witch.
7	Wax Wings- Can fly at half Movement, fire melts wings
8	On Fire-  +1d6 fire damage to attacks, takes 1d6 damage per roud.
9	Whiskey Barrel- Full of 1. Acid 2. Gunpowder 3. Whiskey 4. Random Potion
10	Hive- Swarm of 1. Spiders 2. Bees 3. Rats 4. Ants
11	Boils/Pustules- Damage causes pustules to burst/spray Save vs Random Disease
12	Cage- Has a random zombie with half HD and Size
13	Gelatinous- Acts as random Ooze
14	Blemmyes- extra eyes on chest, extra bite attack, swallow small targets on crit
15	Conjoined Twin- Roll twice for Head, Arms, Torso, This zombie has it all
16	Metal Robot Torso- Armor as Plate, prone to rust
17	Bear Hunting Armor- Covered in spikes, deal with it
18	Torso of Holding- Hole in gut contains 1d6 random items, exploding on 6
19	Iron Body of Achilles- Cannot be damaged barring a single weak spot.
20	Adamant Body of Atlas- size/strength of Storm Giant or similar

Roll	Legs and Feet
1	None
2	A Single Wooden Pole- Half Movement, prone to tripping
3	Standard Meat Feet
4	The Heels of Achilles- Attack feet for insta-kill
5	Roll on Arms and Hands
6	Fish Tail- Can swim as well as a fish, flops uselessly on land
7	Umbrellas- I don't know why they did this, half movement, constant Feather Fall
8	Roller Skates- Twice Movement, Easy to push
9	Goat Legs- Not affected by rough terrain
10	Talons- Extra claw attack, good grip, not great at running
11	Snake- Can constrict for 1d6 per round, Strength contest to resist
12	Tank Treads- Poor at turning, extremely heavy, can crush/flatten prone targets
13	An Entire Horse- That's right, zombie centaur.
14	Skull Crusher Thighs- Any target held between thighs for 3 rounds is crushed.
15	BUER LEGS: 2d4 Exploding Legs all around body, cartwheels/tramples,
16	Metal Robot Legs- Cannot be tripped or slowed, prone to rust
17	Spider Legs- All eight of them, can climb up walls and shit
18	Big Spring- Can leap 30', spend round winding up for 60' jump
19	Rocket Legs- Moves in straight line at 5x move, explodes for 4d6 if it hits anything
20	The Legs of Hugi- Fast enough to essentially teleport within line of sight

Roll	Other
1	Dirty Novelty Underwear
2	Massive amounts of cologne- Reeks, but at least not of rot.
3	Instrument: 50% of being salvageable
4	Gold Holy Symbol- Stabbed into chest, deflects both holy and necromantic magic
5	Jack-o-Lantern- Strength as Bull's Eye Lantern, thrown for 2d6 Fire Damage
6	Zombie Arm- Carries another animate zombie arm as a bludgeon
7	A Pocket Watch
8	Miner's Helmet
9	Collar- "If Found, Please Return to King Krichevskoy, Overlord of Netherworld"
10	Mummy Wrappings- 1-in-6 chance of inflicting Mummy Rot
11	Time Bomb- Will explode as an HDd6 Fireball in 2d6 Rounds
12	A diploma instead of a brain, contains 1 random spell
13	Haunted Object- Followed by a ghost of equal HD, might be zombie's old soul
14	Abby Normal Brain- Acts as Confused
15	Tycho's Nose- Silver, looks fabulous
16	Silk and Sawdust Heart- Prone to emotional outbursts
17	Neckbolts- Healed by lightning damage
18	Acidic Blood- Eats through metal and wood.
19	Brain of Wizard Mahogany- Know 3 Random Spells
20	Horse Wiener- OH FUCK YOU GUYS ARE SCREWED

d100 Tantalizing Tomes, Bewitching Books, and Glorious Grimoires

Roll	Author/Genre
1	Goody Mooncup
2	Dak the Dim
3	Professor Grozug G. Goblin
4	Avaline Romances
5	Cookbooks
6	True Crime
7	Survival
8	Medical Pamphlets
9	Magic Texts
10	Misc

Roll	Goody Mooncup- Self Help Guides of a Witchy Nature
1	How Necromancy Saved My Marriage
2	Owls, Howls, and Bowels: Distressing Sounds and How to Cure Them.
3	Joy of Potioncraft
4	Witch Hazel and You: 101 Uses You've Heard, 24 You Haven't
5	Masters of Hex
6	7 Habits of Highly Effective Poisoners
7	How to Win Fiends and Influence Fishpeople
8	What To Say When You Talk To Your Doppleganger
9	Applied Abraxian Numerology for Dummies
10	Art of the Squeal

Roll	Dak the Dim- Simple Picture books for simple adventurers.
1	SMASH AN’ CRUSH
2	AN AX FOR ALL OCCASIONS
3	SQUISH: SMALL THINGS AN’ YOU
4	WHAT TO DO WHEN TRIP
5	DAK’S RECIPES FOR PAIN
6	BASHING BOOMY BASTARDS
7	BARBARIC YALPS: A GUIDE TO CHARM
8	HOW TO FITE GUD
9	LOINCLOTHS: THE MANLIEST GARMENT
10	YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGH

Roll	Prof. Grozug Goblin- Textbooks for the aspiring Minion
1	Fire: Fun or Frightening?
2	Five Fine Ways to Grovel
3	Finding Employment After the Dark Lord
4	Lessons from Lemmings
5	Please Don’t Hit Me; and Other Things to Say to Your Master
6	The Many Uses of Pits
7	Shifting Blame: The Path to Promotion
8	Effective Whimpering Techniques
9	How to Sleep While Standing
10	Learning from your Many Many Failures

Roll	Avaline- Saucy Elven Romance Novels
1	The Last Real Barbarian
2	The Forbidden Potion
3	Fifty Shades of Green
4	The Scarlet Robes
5	A Whisper in the Twilight
6	The Halfling’s Hidden Secret
7	The Hands of a Sorcerer
8	A Century of Seduction
9	The Immovable Rod
10	Ladies of the Lake

Roll	Cookbooks
1	Dungeons Dives: Top 10 Underground Eats
2	Fear and Loathing in Flavortown
3	Game or Fowl? Cooking with Owlbear
4	Trash to Treasure- An Otyugh Cookbook
5	Moonshine and Toilet Wine, The Adventurers' Guide to Getting Shitfaced
6	Creepy Crawling Calzones
7	Sahuagin Sushi And Other Sentient Sensations
8	Hardly Hardtack, Eating Well on Two Coppers
9	50 Ways to Prepare Gruel
10	A Magic Mouthful: The Companion Cookbook to the Avaline Romances

Roll	True Crime
1	Shanked in the Street: Gang Violence in YOUR Town
2	In Green Blood
3	Fairy Fury
4	A Sword in the Dark: When Paladins Snap
5	Gorgons Gone Wild
6	Fractured Future: A Seer’s Curse
7	Golddigger
8	Witch Slapped
9	Inner Demons: When Possession Goes Too Far
10	Frantic Familiars: 10 Tales of Betrayal

Roll	Survival
1	Don’t Drink Your Piss: Survival Tips That Maintain Your Dignity
2	Oh Shit! 10 Ways to Avoid Springing that Trap
3	Skeletons, Mummies, and Dead Folks Who Won’t Stay Dead
4	Leave It or Loot It?
5	To Save or Not to Save? Dealing with Distressed Damsels
6	I Should Have Packed That: 35 Essential Items For Every Adventurer
7	A Dungeoneer’s Guide to Fungi
8	The Big Book of Beasts
9	IT’S A TRAP! A Guide to Trip Wires, Loose Flagstones, and Levers
10	The Adventurer’s Best Friend

Roll	Entirely Unmedical Pamphlets by The Kind Dr. Nicolas Zane D.Ed.
1	What’s that Rash?
2	Why am I Itchy?
3	Where did My Foot Go?
4	Should I Eat This?
5	Why is My Vomit Purple?
6	Why Bees?
7	Why is My Skin Coming Off?
8	Why am I on Fire?
9	Why am I a Frog?
10	What Should I Do With These Bodies?

Roll	Magic Texts
1	The Arse Goetia: Demon Summoning for Assholes
2	Understanding Your Patron by Sotiria Dimopoulos
3	Bottling Up Your Emotions by Al K. Amist
4	Fashionable Phylacteries for the Discerning Lich
5	Thaumaturgical Aphorisms by Prilaxiom U. C. Vallance
6	Rubbings from the Thrice Damned Temple
7	The Virgin’s Guide to Tantric Rituals
8	Ten Magical Tunes for the Hurdy Gurdy
9	FIREBALL!
10	The Book of Gaub

Roll	Misc
1	Religious Pamphlet: Whores and Other Demons of the Tavern
2	Religious Pamphlet: Evil Spirits: The Dangers of Ale
3	Religious Pamphlet: Unfission: The Me in the You
4	The Goats Who Stare For Men by R.B. Litte
5	The Charcoal Burner’s Daughter
6	The Violet Lady: 20 Tales of Terror
7	A Wayfarer’s Guide to Carousing
8	Memoirs of a Goliard
9	Growing Up Goblin: A Memoir
10	[INCOMPREHENSIBLE GIBBERISH]